Ah, the secondary problems that accompany recovery. Weight gain from sitting on my ass, bed sores from sitting on my ass, piriformis syndrome...from sitting on my ass (and a bike).
Seriously. For those of you unfamiliar with piriformis syndrome, it is lovely. This little, irksome muscle deep in your butt-meat (technical term) spasms and swells and entraps your sciatic nerve. Then you get pain- in your butt-meat and all down your leg. It's caused by sitting, biking, weak muscles, spasmed hip flexors and fat wallets. No, really. George Castanza probably had piriformis syndrome. That's the one risk factor I definitely do not have. I wear my wallet on a cute little string around my neck like an old lady waiting to get mugged in a Mexican airport.
I've been rehabbing on my bike with a bike trainer- a device that allows you to take that bike that you bought to get out into the fresh air and bring it inside so that you can watch reruns while you ride. Birds chirping, be damned!
Well, I've been told to ride an hour a day. And I can't actually reach my foot to stretch first, let alone wrap my leg around me to stretch the piriformis muscle. So I just get on and ride. Then, I sit on the couch or lie in bed for the other 23 hours of the day. Directly on that twitchy little bastard of a muscle. And it has the gall to take exception to this treatment.
I suppose I should be more sympathetic to the a-hole. I'm getting pretty twitchy myself. I just want so badly to MOVE. And be awake- I'm really tired of the fatigue. Oh, and I want to be able to sleep in multiple positions (And no, "propped up" and "slid down" are not two different positions). And if we're making a wish list, I'd like to not have to schedule bathroom trips.
Picky, picky.
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